Somewhere in that crazy life of yours, you've been a sidepiece (a mistress). Whether you knew it or not, it doesn't deny that somewhere in your life of dating, you haven't been the only one in the picture.
And that's cool.
We all go through it right? I mean let's be honest, unless you've been completely monogamous since a young age or have never lost your virginity, you've been in second place once in your life. And I'm not saying all of this to say it's cool or it's this huge learning experience dealing with a person who dates tons of people at once... (even though it kind of is a learning experience.)
I am saying all of this to say,
People are getting good juggling their lovers.
Whether you are a lady or gent reading this article, I've realized that if someone wants to do something, they will... regardless of how you feel or where you stand in their life.
So if your like me, instead of giving you tips to figure out if your a sidepiece, here are 4 tips to avoid all that sh*t and headache:
1. Talk More
Now some of us might second guess discussing past relationships with someone you are interested in, but it's time to grow up.
Talking about past relationships helps you learn about a person a lot more.
Knowing who they've dealt with or why it didn't work not only teaches you about some flaws this person might have, but it also brings you guys closer. The best relationship you can have is a relationship where you can easily communicate with one another. So, don't be afraid to know about the past of a person, nowadays, you have to be open-minded and understand that as time goes on, what you won't do discuss with this person, another person will, and that's not good.
2. Kick It
Let's not take kickin' it as a date. It's easier to be cool with a person than to immediately go into this serious dating stage. It's either going to put super pressure on you or the person or make you feel like if dating doesn't work, you still can't be cool...
Kick it with the person. Go to an arcade or something that pushes you both to bond more or challenge one another. Feeling like you are a friend more than a lover will make that person feel like you serve a larger purpose in their life. If this person learns to value your friendship, 9 times out of 10, you are less likely to become someone whose feelings they hurt.
3. Be Completely Honest Not Open
Not open, but honest. If you're like me, you can sometimes forget that someone doesn't need to know every detail of your past. Never tell someone every detail of your past. From the outside, the person might seem like they are cool with what you tell them, but on the inside it might mess them up a bit.
So, if a question comes up that you'd rather not answer, answer the question but don't give the details... unless the person wants to know the details, you make that decision if it's worth telling them. Besides if you get stuck, I give you permission to use my comeback:
"What are you going to gain if I give you details? Is my honest answer not enough?"
Boom. There you go.
4. Demand Honesty
Not only is it good for you to be honest, but for the person to be completely honest with you. Let the person know that all you ask for is honesty. For instance, if there is another person they are dealing with or having sex with, it's important to know things like that. One of the main reasons being so you can keep yourself safe and another reason being you don't want to fall hard for someone who has other people in the picture.
The worst mistake you can ever make is know that someone is being dishonest with you, and not say anything. So tell the person put it all on the table and be honest with you. And when they are open and honest, don't get angry.
Respect the fact they had enough balls to let you know what is going on.
Overall, building a friendship with someone first is the best thing you can do. So, when you have a person you are interested in, take your time with the friendship, get to know the person, be honest and don't add any extra pressure.
Unless this is like some love at first sight kind of thing, then that's a whole different story.